Overcoming a Relationship Breakup

In any relationship break ups are difficult. 

While your problems are your concern and no one should meddle in your relationship, you also have to realize that other people are sometimes involved. When your partner doesn't get along with your friends, things are going to be much more difficult for the both of you. Don’t let the romance fizzle, especially when it's only your pride that's getting in the way.

Love His Life

If you want your man to value you, then you need to love his friends as well. This means that if he wants some time off to be with his bros, go ahead and let him do it. If he wants you to tag along when he goes out with his friends, make sure you make the time. He'll do the same thing when he sees that you're willing to go out of your way and immerse yourself in his world from time to time.

The Extension

Breakups are difficult. Overcoming it means that you need to consider more than just the two of you. Your friends are an extension of your family, and unlike your relatives, you choose to be with them because you have so many things in common. You share the same passion and admittedly, they're also a reflection of who you are.

It's the same thing for your loved one. Imagine how uncomfortable the situation will be if you refuse to see the good in the people he cares about the most. Hang out with them. You may not always share the same interests, but try to go with the flow.

Plus, getting the stamp of approval means that you'll be in the know. They can even be your staunch defenders because they've seen effort from your end. You may not always like some of them immediately, but try to see them through your man's eyes.

Be open-minded because it does take all kinds to make the world. There must be something good in them for them to be an important part of his world.

Be Like a Friend

His friends have been with him longer than you have. You'll be privy to his childhood experiences if you learn to talk to them. Keep conversations about his exes on the down low because these are just too personal. More importantly, these should come from him. Just enjoy the time you two have together.

You wouldn’t want his buds to assume that you’re the nosy one. Keep the conversations light. For instance, ask about how he was when he was in high school. You can even turn to them for help when you want to surprise him during a special occasion.

Some women have been so successful that they were even able to merge their groups. In the end, love became sweeter because it was based on friendship. Just think of this as a chance for you to open yourself up to a world of new possibilities.

Show some excitement and you'll see. When you make the effort, you can make love blossom, to make it sweeter.

If you’re really invested in this relationship, then make sure to appreciate his world. Invite the people he loves over when you have parties and be cool about it. You don't have to try too hard.

Be yourself and be open to getting to know them. Everything will fall into place and pretty soon, you'll see that being with someone can be your chance to establish new connections.

If you’re wondering whether your marriage is in trouble, you might want to find Save My Marriage Today by Amy waterman. 

How to Deal With Depression in a Relationship

Your partner’s depression may involve emotional distance, lack of interest in love and intimacy, and exhaustion. These tips for dealing with a partner who is depressed may ease the strain your marriage or relationship, and even strengthen your connection.

These tips for coping with a boyfriend, girlfriend, or marriage partner’s depression are from Dr Melvyn Lurie, author of Depression: Your Questions Answered.

Before his tips, a quip:

“In these 20 years of work among the people [in Calcutta], I have come to more and more realize it is being unwanted that is the worst disease any human being can ever experience.” – Mother Teresa.

Feeling unwanted and isolated is a huge factor in depression — and so are feelings of loneliness and fatigue. One of the best books on overcoming depression is The Mindful Way Through Depression: Freeing Yourself from Chronic Unhappiness.

The more you know and understand about depression, the better you can see what to do and how to help a depressed partner.

Dealing With Depression in a Love Relationship

Expect him or her to lose interest in physical intimacy

Losing interest in your love life is common in people with depression. “Whether from the inability to feel pleasure (anhedonia), inability to feel love, social withdrawal, or something more direct, interest in intimacy is frequently diminished in depression,” writes Dr Lurie. Further, losing interest in your love life can trigger other communication problems in relationships.

Has your partner lost interest in love or intimacy? Find other ways to express your physical intimacy, such as a massage or bubble baths together. And, remember that communication and intimacy problems can be triggered by depression.

If you’re wondering if your relationship is in trouble, you might want to find Save My Marriage Today by Amy waterman. 

Don’t be surprised if your depressed partner tries to make you feel bad

This happens more often than you’d think! When someone feels incompetent, worthless, and unenergetic – which people with depression often do – they may project their feelings onto their partners. That is, a depressed partner may consider his or her partner as incompetent, worthless, or unenergetic.

“This kind of defense doesn’t work very well because it drives people away,” says Dr Lurie.

To cope with your partner’s depression, be aware of how negative feelings are projected. It can help simply to know why people dealing with depression make others feel bad, and learn to shrug off those behaviors. Learning how to cope with your partner’s depression in a relation can involve developing a thicker skin.

Be aware of how depression can lead to relationship breakups

People dealing with depression may feel isolated, misunderstood, attacked, and unloved. They may withdraw socially, want to be alone most of the time, and lose touch with the ability to feel love. This causes communication problems in relationships. Plus, people with depression may become critical and argumentative. These factors make it difficult for a relationship to survive.

And, knowing how depression and relationships can co-exist can help smooth things over. Deciding in advance how to handle the negative parts of the relationship will prepare you for most anything. Also, contacting a Distress Line, depression support group, or counselor is a great idea, especially if you feel like you’re not dealing with depression and your love relationship very well.

And, find out how others sharing their tips on dealing depressed spouse which can help you understand your depressed partner, and help you cope.

For Single People Dealing With Depression

Learn how depression affects your dating life

“Low self-esteem from depression can stop you from pursuing, let alone achieving, your goal of curing your loneliness,” writes in Dr Melvyn Lurie in Depression: Your Questions Answered. “This is a vicious cycle – your low self-esteem prevents you from curing your loneliness, and your loneliness worsens your depression and further erodes your self-esteem.”

Do things that increase your self-esteem, such as taking small risks and crossing things off your to-do list. If you’re dealing with depression, do little things every day to help you feel better about yourself.

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Marriage Advice How to Love a Husband

How to love a husband? Loving a husband is so easy that almost any woman could do it, right?

Well, it really wasn't, but it's getting easier now. In your relationship, you could reach a point in which we call a difficult marriage by most of us evaluation. Yeah neighbours might heard some screaming in the wee hours, and the word "divorce" might spell out from your partner mouth.

At that moment, it will become very tough, and I seriously doubted most couple couldn't make it. What was wrong in their relationship? Many of us actually had a problems because we got sick of being angry, learned to trust each other, and learned to love each other.

Don't get me wrong, abuse and divorce are serious topics, but this article is meant to be a bit tongue-in-cheek, while making a point. Okay here it goes. 7 tips on how to love a husband ....

Feed Your Man

1. Feed him. Yes, I know that making a meal at suppertime is no longer a central part of our culture, as it was in the 50's. Grabbing a pizza pop or a frozen entree sometimes seems like all the effort we can muster, after our crazy days. Cooking seems like a lot of work, more than we are capable of. For working women, when we were single, in fact, we rarely cooked. It was just way too much work. But since getting married, though, I have tried to cook as much as I can.

2. Make love to him. Yeah, we all know men love sex. Our whole society seems to revolve around that, in many ways. We joke about it, and we may resent it, at times. But do we honour it? Do we honour our man's primary way of expressing love? Being there for your husband physically is one of the most profound ways that you can love him. He will feel your love, through your hands and your body. Massage him. Hold him. Touch him. Do it all, and do it often. Enough said, ladies!

3. Listen to him. By listening to him, I don't really mean to obey him, or to submit, which is a whole other topic. What I do mean is to hear what he says, and honour it. Hear it first, before you disagree with him. Wow! Hard for me to do, I have to admit.

I thought I was a good listener, but when it came to my husband, I got my defenses up. He was a man, and men had always tried to boss me around. Therefore, I always believed that he was trying to control me. Therefore, I defended myself even before he had shut his mouth. Which meant I wasn't listening, and I didn't hear. And then he didn't hear me. And then ... the fight was on. But listening makes a HUGE difference. It sounds simple, yes, but It's vitally important.

Need more tips on marriage and relationships. Check out Save My Marriage Today  by Amy Waterman.

4. Don't try to dominate him. This goes along with the previous point. When we start listening, we can start relating, and don't need to dominate. Fifty years ago, this advice would have been self-evident, but now I think it's controversial. You see, we confuse "don't dominate" with "let yourself be abused." I know I got that confused. I thought I had to constantly stop him from abusing me, but by constantly fighting that, I was dominating him with my "defenses."

And it doesn't help either that so many T.V. shows we turn on show a dominant woman who is in charge of her man.. One of the funniest episodes of "King of Queens" was when Doug tried to wear a cologne that Carrie didn't like. He acted tough in front of his friends, but at home, he snuck around, until, inevitably, Doug was caught by his obviously dominant wife.

But dominating a man puts him either in fight mode, or in lay-down passive mode. Not dominating is a way of loving him, because it lets him be a man. You don't have to be weak; just be yourself. And let him be himself. Don't try to control him. We are so scared of being controlled that we end up controlling him. Don't. "Not dominating" is a major way of loving him.

WORK AND RESPECT

5. Work beside him. It might sound dorky, but some of our marriage's best times have been our grocery shopping nights. Why? It's a time that we work together. We buy a lot of groceries, then bag them (Superstore) and haul them from the car, and put them away. By the end, we're both wiped. But we feel good! Why? Because we worked together to accomplish something important for our household. My husband has turned to me so many times, and commented that he thinks we make a great team. Working hard is a very important part of a good marriage. It's not glamorous, but it's very important. Love him by working beside him.

6. Always show respect. I haven't always done this, but I try to do it now. After reading some good books on the subject, I began to see how essential this was to loving my husband. As my defenses started breaking down, I was able to look across and really see what my husband's face looked like when I yelled at him. When I was mad at him. And he looked sad. And felt really bad, and I wanted to show him more respect, no matter how mad at him I was for how I thought he didn't show me respect.

And showing respect has made all the difference. I still slip up, but now I force myself to apologize. That's hard! It goes against my pride! But it's worth it, because it's a way of loving him.

7. Pray. If you believe in God, pray! Seriously, sometimes that's the only thing that got me through. In fact, I think this has been the biggest help to my marriage. Prayer is admitting that we are helpless, and brings us to a needed point of surrender. It forces us to be humble, and it lets us hope again.

After all what you need is a guide from professional of Marriage and Family Affairs. You can read my review on Save my Marriage today by Amy waterman.